Plans for 2010

Like most of you, at this time of the year I'm thinking about what I can do different next year and the areas of my life which need improvements. At the very top of my list is working harder on my relationship with Annesa and Kari. As such, I have decided on taking a new approach to my blog. The focus will remain on my relationship with Kari. However, to inspire myself and anyone who happens to stumble across this blog (particularly dads), I decided to provide more useful/motivating posts. For 2010, I will do 365 different activities (hopefully fun and unusual) with Kari. I have started compiling a list which is still kind of hopeless (54 activities so far). I welcome any suggestions you might have as I take on this relationship-building challenge.

Kari, Flora and I sharing OJ

Dakari's Communication Device

Dakari travels annually to Boston Children’s Hospital for checkups and evaluations. In 2009, he received Botox shots to aid him in walking and developing his motor skills. He was also evaluated by specialists at the Augmentative Communication Program at Children’s. They concluded that Dakari would benefit significantly from having a communication device (see below). Even though Dakari is three, he still communicates by pointing and mainly babbling. The communication device will enhance his life by enabling him to communicate effectively in various social settings including school and home. The only challenge is that the device cost alot (average $7,000) and will therefore be difficult to acquire.

For the past three weeks some of my work colleagues who I'm close with, went out of their way (way out) to assist Annesa and I in raising funds for this device. Their unexpected act of kindness caught me completely off guard. They have proven to me that people are generally good, kind, thoughtful and want to help others. They just need something or someone to activate that part of them. My colleagues were able to raise a substantial amount of money to assist Dakari with his medical expenses and particular his communication device.

My church (Midland Heights) has also done its part to assist my family. The Music Ministry will be holding a concert on 21 November 2009 with proceeds going towards Dakari's medical needs. (Read story in local newspaper).

Communication Device

The Kid's Learning

Two weeks ago, we took Dakari to the pet store to Pic-A-Pet (actual name of store). He chose a male guinea pig. He was one happy 2 year-old. He helped with everything - preparing the cage, feeding the guinea pig and holding him a little. After a couple of days, we name the guinea pig Scurry (for obvious reasons). Dakari absolutely enjoys his pet. One of his favourite activities is feeding Scurry. If you didn't know before, guinea pigs eat a lot and regularly. In addition to his regular feed, Dakari gives him lettuce and carrot. Scurry loves both - unlike Dakari. My wife and I tried various tricks to get him to eat vegetables. These tricks never work with Dakari. Recently, Scurry helped us discover a solution. While feeding Scurry one day, Dakari decided to taste the lettuce. I guess he realized what he was missing because he ending up eating quite a bit of Scurry's food.

Lessons from this experience: Pets are good for kids and if the pet can handle it, have it do something you've always wanted your kids to do. For example, my next plan is to have Scurry sit on the potty until he does something.


Dakari eating Scurry's lettuce

Caught Having Sex

Just the other morning around 1 a.m. (like many other early mornings), I was getting it on with my wife. She has this weird thing about getting horny early in the mornings especially after watching TV (interestingly we find it the best time of the day to make love or make out). So this is the thing right, we're both getting close to experiencing ecstasy when we hear the door swung open and we both looked around to find Dakari staring at us with the obvious curiosity of a toddler seeing his parents doing press-ups and sit-ups… naked. Of course, we did what any horny parents of a toddler who were getting their freak on would do...keep going (very discretely).

The problem started when we took too long to give him his own room. Apartments are very expensive where we live so we were living in a one-bedroom place for almost two years. So when we moved to a larger apartment (Dakari was about 2 1/2) and gave him his own room it was the strangest thing to him. For the first week, he and I battled every night. He would wake at around 1 a.m. every morning and make his way across to our room and onto the bed. I would take his weeping butt right back to his room. For the first week, Dakari did this about 3-5 times each night. This made me extremely tired at work during the days. After the first week, he started getting real clever. The first week he would cry his way across to our room announcing his entrance. During the second week, he was moving with stealth. Actually, I remember waking up one morning seeing my 2 year-old laying on the rug in front of the bed. This broke my heart and I took him up on the bed. After that incident, he took complete advantage of my sympathy for him and hasn’t looked back since. So every morning around 1 a.m. we hear him coming across with his walker. After about four months under this living arranging, he would start coming across with his blanket and teddies. So no one except me is to be blamed for him catching us in ‘the act’.

I guess the easiest thing to do is for my wife to change her horny schedule or whenever Dakari makes his entrance and falls asleep we could go somewhere else to get our freak on. We’ll see how that works out.

Dakari at 1+ interrupting our groove

Eating Habits

My wife and I prepared salmon and baked potatoes with vegetables for dinner today with all expectations that Dakari would eat as well. He's not a big fan of cooked meals though we’ve tried various approaches including forcing the food in his mouth (he simply coughs until he throws it up). We've allowed him to get away with having an alternative meal whenever he doesn't want what we prepare (which is always). Today, I guess I just decided that was the end of that. Dakari loves to drink (everything except water). Though he screamed so hard for us to pity him, we still didn’t give in. Of course, he still didn’t eat what we had prepared. I recently read somewhere that with feeding your toddlers, the important thing is to do your job which is to prepare a nutritious (and presentable) meal and allow them to do their job which is to consume it. I can tell you that Dakari is doing a lousy job.

If you’ve been here, how did you overcome?

On Parenting (an 'extra' needs child)

My wife and I are the proud and sometimes 'confused' parents of a soon-to-be three year-old (September 2009). His name is Dakari and he was officially diagnosed with cerebral palsy (CP) shortly after birth. As such, he hasn't started talking or walking (on his own) just yet. I'm gonna be honest and say that sometimes it is extremely challenging especially with communication. Dakari still communicates by crying and making other incoherent sounds. He is very clever and independent despite these setbacks. It's amazing how he tries to do everything by himself just the same. He does get quiet irritable when things are not going the way he wants. For example, because of fine motor skills issues, he has a hard time with activities that involves placing small objects in containers. After a while, he'll get angry and start crying while at the same time still trying to complete the task. Sometimes I help, other times I don't. I don't because I think it might be useful for him to complete tasks on his own without his parents. Also, I try not to let him feel that because other kids can do it easier/faster than he can that he should always get help or shouldn't complete the task.

We're all on an interesting journey together and intend to make the most of it.


Dakari trying to shoot his 'air' gun (recommended by occupational therapist).