Activity # 16 - Ride in Golf Cart

Princess, Kari and I recently went to watch a family member perform in a band. The event was ok. Nothing to really talk or write about except we are proud of our little cousin. At his age (13), we didn't really expect a Beethoven-quality performance or should we?

After the performance, we were making our way to the car when we past a golf cart and Kari's curiosity kicked it. I love it when he is curious especially about things that are not entirely dangerous. His curiosity gives me a chance to explore. Besides, I make it my duty to teach him that anything is possible - all he has to do is (1) Ask - if (the thing is) in control/ownership of another (2) Negotiate/Take - if owner is being difficult (3)Explore/Research - if thing initially seems impossible to attain (4) Create/Invent - if the thing doesn't already exist (5)Enjoy - all that effort should be enjoyed.

Every day I am reminded of the awesome responsibility I have of grooming a future man. A man who is respectful to God, family and all life; contributes in a positive to society; and who makes girls drool.

I appreciate that even a simple golf cart ride can be used to teach life lessons to my son.

Activity # 15 - Kari the Fly Tracker

It's that time of the year again. Flies are everywhere. A few of them got inside our apartment and one Sunday morning we went on a fly hunt...an assassination expedition. During this expedition/hunt, we all had different roles.

Mommy aka The Terminator - She was the killer...the taker of (fly) life. While battering one fly to death she remarked, "these things must have like a 1,000 lives." She enjoyed her role. I did too (as long as her target is always only flies or other nonhuman pest.

Kari aka The Tracker - Kari spotted flies a mile away. I'm serious. He is very good. Each time a fly thinks it has escaped, we asked Kari for its position and he simply scans the room for a few seconds and then points and shout (good thing flies don't understand 'Karish' so they usually stay put despite being discovered).

Daddy aka The General aka Videographer -I gave the orders to kill...kill...kill and then I record the killings.

With our efforts and special abilities combined we were able to kill one fly (it was huge so it counts as 10 at least). It was fun.

Activity # 15 - Wa Plee Plee

Princess and I are so excited. For the past week (maybe two or three), Kari has been consistently saying "Wa Plee Plee" translation "Want Pee Pee". We are not only excited because we understand clearly what he wants, but also because he lets us know he wants to use the potty. I wouldn't go as far as to say he is completely potty trained but I believe he is close. Progress I say, progress.

We tried so many different things to get him potty trained and was only met with failure. The last thing we tried was a book - Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day by Teri Crane. That was a little ridiculous now that I think about it but I was DESPERATE. Pull-ups are not cheap.

These days, we notice he actually cries if he sits on the potty and nothing comes out. He just points at his penis, complains (not really sure what he is complaining about - maybe something along the lines of, "mommy, daddy, this thing (penis) is not working...make it work...wouaaa wouaaa wu wu wouaaaaaaaaa." and starts crying.

We are really proud of him and his progress and he knows it. Whenever he does something in the potty, he just looks at us, smiles and says "Ari ig oye" translation "Kari big boy". We love it!

Fathering Happiness makes me so proud.

Activity # 14 - Cleaning Scurry's Cage

Today, Kari and I cleaned Scurry's cage. Scurry is Kari's guinea pig which he chose from the pet store almost a year ago. Scurry is so named because of how active he was initially after we took him home. He would not allow us to catch him - he scurried away. Unfortunately, his scurrying didn't last too long. He is now a fat, lazy, greedy, slow, and noisy (whenever we open the fridge) guinea pig. We do cherish him anyway.

It is our custom to clean Scurry's cage every other day. However, this past weekend we failed to do so because we ran out of sawdust and Monday was a public holiday in Bermuda. Needless to say, Scurry and his cage was a complete mess. Actually, he stunk! So we visited the pet store on Tuesday and Kari and I set about cleaning Scurry and his cage. It was tough. A task that usually takes us somewhere between 15 & 20 minutes to complete took 1 hour.

Kari always has fun cleaning Scurry's cage and feeding him. He wants to do everything. He seems to be preparing himself for the next season (or generation) of Dirty Jobs. Actually, he would give Mike Rowe a run for his money (or mess). He is the best helper and great to have around. Thank you Happiness!

A Proud Daddy

On 19 May 2010, Princess (sexy wife) and I attended a transition meeting at Kari's new school. The meeting was setup to meet his new teacher, principal, therapists (speech, physio, and occupational) and to discuss his needs. Princess and I were very impressed with the extent the Bermuda Ministry of Education is willing to go to ensure he has all he requires for school such as special desk and chair, railings which will have to be constructed, and possibly special swing for the playground.

I am a bit of a softy when it concerns Kari and so I get very emotional when I hear others talk about him. During the meeting, each of his current therapists gave a report on his progress and their overall experience with him. There was a common theme. Dakari is very determined. He is also very smart and intelligent. He can be moody at times (I used to be like that years ago so I don't mind that too much) but for the most part he will cooperate. He is very jovial and loves to have fun.

Kari is definitely the joy of my heart. He makes me so happy and so very proud. I won't go as far as to say he will always make me proud because some kids do have a tendency to take a sabbatical from reality (not sure if special needs kids are immune to this state of mind). God blessed me the day he entered my life. Princess and I have a habit of celebrating all his achievements no matter how small. For example, right now he is having his speech therapy session and his therapist asked him to say 'more'. His 'more' came out something like 'ooooreee' and we instantly started celebrating(see video below) . You see, for Kari that's a huge achievement and we can't help but being proud of him.

Back to the meeting. After the meeting, I realized I no longer have a lot of fears about Kari's future because it is obvious he will excel at whatever he does. His determination to succeed will be something the world will appreciate. I truly look forward to the man he will become.

Activity # 13 - Kari the Aardvark

Kari and I recently realized how much fun it is vacuuming ants. Yep...a-n-t-s. We experienced an invasion over the weekend and I pretty much battled them on my own. I did receive assistance from Kari in collecting and disposing of the bodies. To perform this task, Kari employ the services of our vacuum. He had so much fun and so did I. As in most cases following a battle, we discovered survivors and dealt with them as we did their comrades (see video below).

I am always amazed at how helpful Kari is. He wants to get involved in everything we do. In fact, if we should ever do the dishes without him, he would get very upset. Sometimes we quietly do the dishes without his knowledge when we are rushing. Kari enjoys accompanying me to the laundromat. He helps with folding and packing away of the clothes. He also loves to cook.

My wife and I are quite confused about whose genes is responsible for Kari's strong desire to assist. We concluded that its all Kari and he is actually changing the Saunders Family Tree. While we both did our fair share of chores growing up, we certainly did not have as much fun as Kari is experiencing now. We actually think he is weird. Who fights and cries to do housework? We are very proud of him anyway.

I am definitely enjoying fathering Happiness

The Candy Theory

Princess (wife) and I were driving to get our goddaughter one Saturday so she could spend the day with us. We have her every other weekend (unfortunately, an arrangement too many men can relate to with their own kids). I must say it is absolutely great being a godfather plus our goddaughter is fun (very talkative and hyperactive but fun). She is like the daughter we never had (though we are trying to adopt and praying about it this month). Kari absolutely adores her. They fight quite often but they love each other. I was an only child for close to 19 years so I take Princess' advice on these matters. Fighting is one of the ways siblings express their love and affection for each other. Weird.

Anyways, on our way to get her we started talking about Kari (the trip is usually a 30-minute journey each way so it gives us some quality time). The conversation was centered around allowing Kari to have candy. My stance is no candy. Period. Princess objects. Hence, the birth of the Candy Theory.

The Candy Theory, developed by Princess holds that: If we persistently say no to allowing Kari to have candy, it will become more desirable. Therefore, the number of 'no's' is directly proportional to desirability. The opposite is also true. Therefore, if we chose a few candies that are 'healthy' and indulge him a few times per month (I agreed to 4 though Princess prefers as many times per week), candy will become less desirable.

This theory is still in its infancy and does not address all desires. For example, when Kari hits his teen years and become interested in the opposite sex the Candy Theory WILL NOT work. This is an Open Source theory so we welcome your input.

Fathering Happiness

Tribute to my Mom

I thought about waiting until Mother’s Day (its here now) to actually share this tribute with the rest of the world. However, since tomorrow is guaranteed to no one, I am doing it now.

On 5 March 2010, I paid a surprise visit to my mom. I had not seen her since 14 April 2007 (story for another time). In 2007, she met her grandson for the very first time. He was six months old. Needless to say, this trip was a BIG deal. HUGE. I had one goal in mind. I was going to change our life and the course of our relationship forever.

This trip came about after reading Letters From Dad by Greg Vaughn and deciding to write a letter of blessing to my mom. Writing this letter was one of the best things I have ever done. After completing the letter, I was prepared to mail it to her but really hoped for a better way to present such a special gift to my mother. Like divine providence, that same week, I found out my mom would be traveling to visit her sister in New Jersey the following weekend (26 February 2010). A mere 2 hours and $300 away. The only problem was that I was broke and could not find that money. Despite this significant fact, I decided that I could not visit my mom without taking her only grandchild to see her. I then got to thinking, why would I leave my wife behind? All three of us should take this trip and surprise her. I called my aunt and made her aware of my plans. I told her all three of us will be there and to keep it a secret. Since that was all taken care of, it was time to work on finding not $300 any more but $900+.

I knew I had only one way of getting this money and that was through God (no offense to any atheist reading this post). I requested that if He sees this as a worthy thing to do that He provides the money on a specific day (Tuesday of the following week). Two things happened on that day. A very good friend and mentor offered to pay for all three of us to go. I also spoke with my mom who shared that she will not be visiting her sister until the following week. Everything worked out perfectly because the weather was terrible that weekend. The Bible (Romans 8:28) says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

My mom, of course was completely surprised when she saw us. She confirmed that it was only because of her strong heart why she didn’t faint or worst. We all had a great weekend together. One that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Letter to Mom

My Dear Mother,

Never in my life have I met a woman like you. For the twenty-six years I have known you, you have never failed to amaze me. I admire you so much for the type of person you are. You are a fighter. You are determination. You are love. You are patient. You are kind. You are faithful. You are someone your son strives to be more like every day.

I am pleased for the new direction our relationship has taken. Continue Reading...

Again, Daddy

Kari enjoys books. He especially enjoys being read to. Annesa and I (like many other parents out there) have proven that if you introduce books to kids very early they will grow up to love books. So even though Kari is only 4 years-old (in September), he loves books and we hope that will never change.

Curious George (CG) is his favorite TV show. He will not give up watching CG for anything...except books. Recently, he asked me to stop CG (DVD) and read him a book (Wait! I Want to Tell You a Story by Tom Williams). I was very tired but decided it was worth it anyway. This book is one of his favorites and pretty short. Of course, I did my best to stretch the story by adding special effects and animations. At the end of the story, he took the book, turned to the beginning and gave it back to me. I confirmed that he actually wanted me to read the book again. At the end of the second reading, he did the same thing. This was repeated two times until my throat began to hurt. All that shouting and voice changing had its effects after awhile.

Lesson learned

Kids have no idea when you are tired and I doubt they even understand the concept. They do know what they want and actually wants us to be a part of that (sometimes). My advice to you is do not miss out despite how tired you are or how you feel. I once read that kids may forget what you say, they may forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Make your child feel valued and worth-your-time EVERYDAY. I don't know about your child, but this makes Kari very happy.