I'm Sorry, Son

Apologizing is not the easiest thing in the world to do. It certainly gets even more difficult when the recipient of your apology is your child.

Very recently, after some introspection, I determined that I needed to apologize to Kari for how I had treated him, or more like reacted to an unpleasant discovery. I did not hit him, neither did I shout at him. I believe the expression on my face and my body language were equally painful to him. With tears in his eyes, he repeatedly declared, "Addy is mad at me!" I broke down. I couldn't take it. He held his head down in shame, refusing to make eye contact with me and ran to his room.

I pondered what to do and decided I must apologize to him. My behavior was truly not loving. After apologizing, he was able to look me in the eyes again. Of course, I shared with him the reasons why I was upset and exactly what it is I was apologizing for. My son then promised me he will do better. It was then my turn to weep. I am very proud of him.

As parents, particularly fathers, we must accept that we make mistakes with our children. We are not always right. When we make mistakes and determine we have wronged our children, we ought to admit this to them. It is not enough to just say, "I'm sorry." We should explain what it is we are apologizing for and ask our children for their forgiveness. Who said parenting was easy?

All Play and No Work...

"Play is to early childhood as gas is to a car," say Roberta Michnick Golinkoff and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek authors of Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn--and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less.

The Strong Museum of Play in Rochester, New York provides the perfect setting to test their theory. It worked - not only Kari but for his mom and dad as well. "Play energizes us and enlivens us. It eases our burdens. It renews our natural sense of optimism and opens us up to new possibilities.”-Stuart Brown, M.D., Contemporary American psychiatrist.

Take it from me, you want to take your kids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews (go by yourself if you have to) to the National Museum of Play. They say it is the only collections-based museum in the world devoted solely to play!

The museum offers:

• Engaging, hands-on exhibits
• The National Toy Hall of Fame
• Fun-filled educational programs
• Gift shops, and a food court
• A working carousel from 1918 and the Strong Express passenger train
• Upstate New York’s only year-round, indoor butterfly garden
• A Preschool
• A circulating library
• Teacher development opportunities

After paying for our tickets, Kari discovered that a "Chew Chew Train" was available. So, for the entire time, his sole interest was in riding the train. Luckily for me, we had to pass a number of exhibits and fascinating places such as Sesame Street, a super hero hall of fame, and a dancing video game (which we played) before we got to the 'train station'. The train ride itself was very short (less than 5 minutes). You go around a track about five times. At the end of the ride, Kari would not move. I believe he was in shock at the brevity of experience. He was actually about to cry so I promised to take him back before we left (which I did).

Another hit with Kari was the Kids' Supermarket. The Kids' Supermarket is nice replica of a real supermarket but with fake products. It is a nice way to prepare your 4 year-old for when he has to go shopping on his own because mommy and daddy just doesn't feel like it. At the Kids' Supermarket, he selected his cart, visited the different sections (such as meats, fruits & vegetables, and diary), and went to the cashier (on this day, his Auntie was the cashier) to pay for his goods. We all had fun.

I was very tired (probably not accustomed to so much playtime) and so it was me who decided that our time playing must come to end. And so we (at least my wife and I) re-entered the real world where work takes precedence and even tries to restrict play. Tisk...Tisk.

Anyway, the National Museum of Play is an exciting, hands-on, and fun place to play and enjoy some quality family time (see video below).

Taking Pear Drop Home

The following was submitted to Kari's school as his account of taking care of the school's mascot overnight

The little green guy peered nervously from his 'translocation' machine. He had no idea where we were taking him or what to expect. Only Kari’s presence prevented him from screaming for his mother, the one some of the kids call ‘Miss Barbie’.

He relaxed a bit after Kari excitedly introduced him to his mommy and daddy.

“Who is your friend,” Kari’s daddy asked.

Kari responded, “Ear Aap,” (meaning Pear Drop).

“Is he coming home with us,” Kari’s mommy and daddy asked.

“Yeah,” Kari answered.

And so we set out for home with an extra passenger clinging to Dakari for comfort or safety.

When we got home, ‘Ear Aap’ was immediately introduced to Scurry, Kari’s pet guinea pig who refuses to live up to its name (Kari feeds him too much so we are considering renaming him to Gluttonous).

Following the introductions, ‘Ear Aap’ was led to the dining table for rice ‘n’ peas and fried fish ‘provided’ by daddy. ‘Ear Aap’ was fed two spoons full by Kari and daddy before deciding he was full (I hoped Scurry learned something). Kari showed him how a real big boy eats his supper.

After supper, Kari went for his bath while ‘Ear Aap’ played with some of his toys. Kari usually decides who he wants to bathe him and this time he chose daddy – a real honor (mommy and daddy both get their fair share of selection).

Following his bath, Kari introduced ‘Ear Aap’ to his ‘bestest’ friend, Curious George. They both spent the next 30 minutes watching two episodes of Curious George. The first was about George as a pirate and the second featured George on a camping trip. ‘Ear Aap’ loved them both and wanted to see more but Kari reluctantly told him it was time for bed.

As is customary, Kari chose two books for bedtime and was kind enough to allow ‘Ear Aap’ to chose one for himself. Kari selected Dear God, Do You Need My Help? and Dear God, Is There Anything Too Big For You? ‘Ear Aap’ chose Babar and the Christmas House (we thought it was a little early for that book but read it anyway). They enjoyed their stories and everyone including ‘Ear Aap’ got a chance to pray. Kari and ‘Ear Aap’ prayed for all the boys and girls in their class and for ‘Miss Barbie’ aka Teacher Morbey and Teacher Bean. ‘Ear Aap’ was privileged enough to earn a spot on Kari’s bed taking the place of Big George, Small George, and Baby George. ‘Ear Aap’ must be very special. Mommy and daddy then tucked everyone in and gave them goodnight kisses (I refused to kiss 'Ear Aap'). “Good night Kari. Good night Pear Drop.”

In the morning, ‘Ear Aap’ woke up in a bed all by himself. You see, Kari wakes up very early each morning and makes his way across to mommy and daddy’s room. After Kari woke up, he and ‘Ear Aap’ selected two books for the morning’s reading. They chose Yesterday I Had the Blues and If You Take a Mouse to School.

After reading, it was time for breakfast. Kari helped ‘Ear Aap’ to some French toast sticks and pediasure. They enjoyed breakfast. Kari then went to brush his teeth and get dressed. ‘Ear Aap’ did not have to because he has no teeth and he wears ‘special’ clothes which doesn’t need changing.

We were sad to see ‘Ear Aap’ go. He was such a well-behaved mascot. We believe Kari has made a friend for his Pre-school life.

Hip...Hippo...Hippotherapy

We have been talking about and planning for this for months now. So when the day finally came for Kari to start Hippotherapy, simply saying we were all very excited is an understatement. I believe Annesa and I were even more excited than Kari. In case you are wondering what Hippotherapy is, it involves finding, taming and riding a hippopotamus.

I hope you didn't just believe that.

Hippotherapy is really a form of physical, occupational and speech therapy in which a therapist uses the movements of a horse to provide carefully graded motor and sensory input for people living with disabilities like Kari (Cerebral Palsy). Hippotherapy has been shown to improve kids' happiness and appreciation of their parents (Disclaimer: only tested in the Saunders family so try on your own kids with caution). Hippotherapy improves muscle tone, balance, posture, coordination, motor development as well as emotional well-being (proven fact).

Kari now does Hippotherapy once weekly and always looks forward to riding 'Dusty'. We go for his session when his school is about to have nap time (I'm advocating for these at work). One day, I was running a little late (got caught up at work) and his teachers told me he sat on his cot and refused to move or lie down. Whenever his teachers suggested anything to him he got sad and started to cry. When I got there, I found him in the bathroom changing. He wanted to 'pee' but was afraid I would come and leave him so he just sat there and did it on his cot.

Lesson: Never be late...especially for Kari's Hippotherapy.

Enjoy the video!

A Kodak Moment

I went on a business trip recently and decided to take my family along. The trip was to Rochester, New York the home of George Eastman. This was my first time taking my family on a business trip and one of only two times we have ever traveled together for non-medical reasons. I have a work colleague who told me that he always takes his family on business trips lasting for three or more days. I decided this was a good practice to adopt. I really love having my family around plus this practice can keep me out of trouble (shun the very appearance of evil type of thing).

Anyway, while in Rochester, we got the opportunity to visit the George Eastman House which was about 10 minutes from where we were staying. My wife and I really enjoy taking Kari to museums (though he doesn't always like it). I honestly did not know a thing about George Eastman so I was glad for the opportunity. I vaguely recall watching something on Sesame Street once (with Kari). In case you are in the position I once was, visit here. One of the interesting things we learned was that the camera was as big as a microwave oven. It needed a tent for spreading photographic emulsion on glass plates before exposing them, and develop the exposed plates before they dried out. There were chemicals, glass tanks, a heavy plate holder, and a jug of water (I don't have a clue what that all means but it is interesting).

There is a children's exploration room at the museum and of course it was Kari's favorite spot. He learned to make a photo and 'watch cartoons' the old fashioned way.

I will leave you with one of Eastman's philosophies, "What we do during our working hours determines what we have; what we do in our leisure hours determines what we are."

Activity # 29 - Children's Choir Practice

I have written previously about Kari's insatiable love for music. There are some songs he loves more than others because of the beat and lyrics. He never fails to recognize and sing along those favorites such as God Will Make a Way, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, If I Had the Wings of an Eagle (reggae version), and a few others. His mom and I do our best to expose him to things he shows an interest in and right now that's music. So we have enrolled in our church's children's choir. Currently, he is the younger, smallest, and loudest member. It is fun watching him perform with the other kids. He continues to make me very proud.

Enjoy the video.

Ank you, Da-ye

This morning I had the most interesting conversation with Kari. On our way to dropping him off at school, he saw a truck with some guys sitting in the back. He wanted to know why they were sitting in the back of the truck. Not wanting to tell him I didn't know (fathers know everything), I said:

Me: "They are going to work."

Kari: "Why da-ye (daddy)?"

Me: Wondering how to get out of this trap I just laid for myself. "Well...just the way Mommy goes to work and Daddy goes to work, they are also going to work. But Kari goes to school" Feeling proud of my answer and believing that was the end of that morning's 'Why Interrogation', I smiled and sighed with relief.

And then...

Kari: "Why da-ye?"

Me: "Why what son?" I decided to inquire further. "Why do you go to school?"

Kari: "No." Now he starts using various forms of gestures which his mommy and I are mastering, "Why (pointed at me) work da-ye?" In other words, why do you work daddy?

Me: Stunned. And like Michael Jackson, Speechless. To buy time I said, "Good question son. Very good question." I look at the rearview mirror to check if he is still interested in the conversation and to my disappointment, his gaze is dead set on me. "Well son...Daddy works to get money to take care of Kari." Aha! Not bad. I felt proud of myself. However, nothing could have prepared me for my little's boy's response.

He said...

Wait for it...

Here goes...

Kari: "ank you da-ye." In other words, "Thank you daddy."

Me: I looked at my wife. She looks at me. We looked at Kari. We smiled. My hear rate increased. My ears not believing what it just heard. My mind wondering if he understands what he just said. Anyway, I responded, "You're welcome son."

Lesson: Never ever ever ever underestimate your kids' understanding, curiosity, or their ability to soften your heart.